I decided I needed to journal. I was going to get paper and pen. Then I thought about an online journal. Then thought duh I started something on Blogger, I will just head there.
Umm haven't been here since February. And when I was here in February boy was I excited. I was full of hope.
Where on earth does that feeling go and why does it fill back with crappy crap feelings?
Today on a private FB page I belong to, someone asked if you were fully happy with how your life has turned out.
That left me thinking for hours.
I have so much that I am happy with. My family, my husband, my job (for the most part), my small but wonderful group of friends.
But there is so many things I would change. Im not at peace with myself. I do not treat myself like I would treat anyone else. I do not talk nicely to myself. I do not put myself first - I pretend to with working out here and there but I don't REALLY. I half ass take my antidepressant - I want to feel happier. But truth is Im probably not depressed from a metabolic/chemical standpoint. Im just not happy.
SO that is what I need to work on. I need to find peace and treat myself so much better than I do.
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